When Everything Becomes Crystal Clear

Well, I was having some personal issues with the ex. And his wife. I kept wondering how in the world they were getting information about me. I mean, details very few people knew about. Well, this is what happens when you don't post regularly on your blog, people. If you have a blog, post or delete. Lesson learned. I didn't remember the previous post I made giving details about my new job and when my move was specifically. They had this information. I am still not sure if they were coming here themselves and looking or someone I know was doing it. Regardless, it doesn't matter. There is a thing that I always thought I lived by most of the time, but realized that indeed I was not. I was giving people free rent in my life and allowing them to "dictate" how I was feeling. People who didn't deserve this. Well, not going to happen anymore. My Nana passed away on the 13th of December and we laid her to rest on the 21st. A few things became very crystal clear to me and the above mentioned tidbits were the huge ones.
My ex husband's wife, while I am sure she is a nice person, I don't know her well enough to make any assessments about who she is. I am big on family. Regardless. Yes, I get mad at some people in my family. No, I might not want to speak to them sometimes, but, in the end, we are family. Now, even though I am not married to my ex anymore, for our child's sake, it was very important to me to try to keep in contact with his family. I stopped doing this a long time ago. Why you ask? Because they were doing nothing to keep in contact with our son. As much as it hurt me, in the long run, it will hurt my son even more. I consider this intentional hurt and no one does that to my kids. My son has half siblings through his father and his wife. They are adorable children. The issues I have had with her in the past have to do with her being just like my ex. React and speak without thinking first, apologize later. This last go round was not the first time but will be the last. I'm not mad, I don't hate.....I am pretty ambivalent actually. While nothing would please me more than to foster a relationship for CJ and his siblings sake, I can't trust the adults. They have both said and insinuated some pretty nasty things. While I haven't exactly been an angel on this, you would never hear me say any of them is a bad parent or don't love their children. CJ's dad does seem to have a problem paying the child support. It is very frustrating for me that the other children are taken care of at the expense of his son. I do suspect that someone I know and apparently trust is going back and giving them information. I don't know who it is. I don't really care, actually. A good way for her to show me she that the trust can be repaired, would be to tell me who it is. I won't say anything to this person. They are already forgiven and, while it isn't forgotten, it isn't going to consume my life. I feel no need to get back at anyone. There is no point in it, other than showing that they negatively affected me. Which they did at first, but now, it turned into a positive. But, by giving me the names, it would show me that she truly is earnest in fostering some type of, not friendship really, but neutral relationship so our kids can be more than just pictures on the refrigerator or sent through a phone.