The move, the diet, the.....well, I'm not sure.

So, CJ and I transitioned on schedule. I didn't bring EVERYTHING (we are in one room) but Dad is going to let me keep stuff in the back room closet. Cool!!!!!! I need to go over and finish packing the stuff up and wash the bed lines and all. BUUUUUUT, I was asked to come back to my previous job. It is pretty much on call and they want me to do sales too. I can live with that. I am still working out the organization on the room, how to get the bed raised so I have more storage room (tried some risers from WalMart but the base of the feet didn't fit). I might have Mr. Billy make some. And, our clothes are neatly organized in Rubbermaid containers until I can get dressers. And bookshelves. I was thinking about finding a triple dresser (it will fit on one wall) and a regular dresser (it will fit on another). On top of the triple dresser, I was going to put a couple of bookcases on top for even MORE storage. And, also, put a small one on top of the other. It will come together. But, right now, I am at the shop and have to leave soon. When I get back to the house, Mrs. Kathy and I are going to call the internet place to see why I can't get WiFi for my computer, phone, etc. So, that is the update. Oh, and the diet part. Yeah, on a diet. I did great yesterday. I turned down bacon. I cried. Today, I had some grapefruit juice for lunch, oatmeal and toast for breakfast. I am not sure what is for dinner. I am going to snack on some pretzels when I get home. Probably dip them in some mustard. Just a light snack. I will work on a schedule for going to Ms. Elonda's to use the treadmill. Shifted and rearrange small things in the bedroom so I have room to do some interval exercises in the morning. Anywho, that is all for now. Gotta shut down everything and close up the shizzop, yo! Stay groovy peeps!!

We're Movin' On Up....Well, Over Anyway.

Well, just a few more days and CJ and I will be moving into another house in the neighborhood. I have made the decision that 2013, yeah, that bad boy is going to be mine!!! I'm tired of struggling every single month. Either because of a low paying job and/or certain checks either don't come in a month or only half of it. I made decisions in my life. I don't regret a single one of them. I didn't go for the career. Well, one that you get paid to do. I decided to be a stay at home mom and wife to two husbands. I love doing it. I love taking care of my family, home, hearth.....I used to bake all the time. I used to make made-from-scratch dinners. I used to sew things for the kids and home. I used to have my housework organized down to the tiniest detail. I used to make shopping lists and menus. I went to the kids school things every single time. I loved being there when they got home from school. I just loved being there period. Yes, I went through my times of where I didn't want to do anything. It is hard when you do everything you can, give up many parts of who you are, all to take care of a family and the one person you think would appreciate these things you do, doesn't. But, that is all in the past. I can't have that life anymore. I'm going to miss it. I DO miss it. But, it is over. It is hard giving up a dream. Yes, as silly as it seems to some people these days, all I ever dreamed about doing was being a wife and mom. But, this year, I am letting that dream go. I realize that it is never going to be my life anymore.
So, now to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. Not generally, but very specifically. Definitely a better paying job, school is going to have to be on that priority list, I may end up having to move out of state. I don't know. But it is something I am not putting out of the picture anymore. So, first step, move. After that, well, hahahaha, I have lists. It's my thing. I love making lists and being organized.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

When Everything Becomes Crystal Clear

Well, I was having some personal issues with the ex. And his wife. I kept wondering how in the world they were getting information about me. I mean, details very few people knew about. Well, this is what happens when you don't post regularly on your blog, people. If you have a blog, post or delete. Lesson learned. I didn't remember the previous post I made giving details about my new job and when my move was specifically. They had this information. I am still not sure if they were coming here themselves and looking or someone I know was doing it. Regardless, it doesn't matter. There is a thing that I always thought I lived by most of the time, but realized that indeed I was not. I was giving people free rent in my life and allowing them to "dictate" how I was feeling. People who didn't deserve this. Well, not going to happen anymore. My Nana passed away on the 13th of December and we laid her to rest on the 21st. A few things became very crystal clear to me and the above mentioned tidbits were the huge ones.
My ex husband's wife, while I am sure she is a nice person, I don't know her well enough to make any assessments about who she is. I am big on family. Regardless. Yes, I get mad at some people in my family. No, I might not want to speak to them sometimes, but, in the end, we are family. Now, even though I am not married to my ex anymore, for our child's sake, it was very important to me to try to keep in contact with his family. I stopped doing this a long time ago. Why you ask? Because they were doing nothing to keep in contact with our son. As much as it hurt me, in the long run, it will hurt my son even more. I consider this intentional hurt and no one does that to my kids. My son has half siblings through his father and his wife. They are adorable children. The issues I have had with her in the past have to do with her being just like my ex. React and speak without thinking first, apologize later. This last go round was not the first time but will be the last. I'm not mad, I don't hate.....I am pretty ambivalent actually. While nothing would please me more than to foster a relationship for CJ and his siblings sake, I can't trust the adults. They have both said and insinuated some pretty nasty things. While I haven't exactly been an angel on this, you would never hear me say any of them is a bad parent or don't love their children. CJ's dad does seem to have a problem paying the child support. It is very frustrating for me that the other children are taken care of at the expense of his son. I do suspect that someone I know and apparently trust is going back and giving them information. I don't know who it is. I don't really care, actually. A good way for her to show me she that the trust can be repaired, would be to tell me who it is. I won't say anything to this person. They are already forgiven and, while it isn't forgotten, it isn't going to consume my life. I feel no need to get back at anyone. There is no point in it, other than showing that they negatively affected me. Which they did at first, but now, it turned into a positive. But, by giving me the names, it would show me that she truly is earnest in fostering some type of, not friendship really, but neutral relationship so our kids can be more than just pictures on the refrigerator or sent through a phone.

Post Halloween and All It Entails

Well, Halloween is over. I was sweating it a bit. I hadn't started my job yet, I was down to less than $40.00 in the bank account and no child support check for October. But, thankfully, Kroger had what I needed. Fake blood and one last "wound" left. CJ wanted to be a zombie. Easy peasy! We got a T-shirt, ripped it in a few places of his choosing. I let him muck it around in the dirt a little bit. I applied the fake blood and laid it outside to dry. When Trick or Treating time got close, I just changed out his shirt, applied the fake wound, put blood on his face and arms, applied some eye shadow blended to the max and Presto! Instant Zombie! He got a LOT of candy this year. I do the thing my parents did: dole out the candy. He has been REALLY good about that!!!! So, because he hasn't badgered me about it, I make him an offer of more candy. Just a couple of pieces at a time. If things go like last year and all the previous years, he will forget about the candy after about a week. Then remember it intermittently. :-)

I have been doing a TON of crocheting lately. The difference between now and before: people are actually paying for my things! I am making some charity things. But, for the most part, I'm getting paid to crochet! I am going to throw up some pics and all later today. I started my job on Friday. It was only the orientation. Today, it is computer testing. The good thing: I have a job. Bad thing: it only pays $7.25 an hour and is less than 30 hours a week. CJ and I have to be out of dad's in January. It occurred to me just a short time ago that the date he gave me was right after the holidays. January 5th. So, I am not sure what I am going to do. Right now, I am not worrying about it too much. I have to get through his birthday on Sunday. I am thinking about asking him to postpone it until the next weekend. We shall see.

Look back later today for an update with pictures on what I am making and how you can purchase what I make, if you desire to buy something. :-)

Have a groovy day!!

Again and again and again....

Yes, it is official. I totally suck at keeping a blog. Not just a little bit. I mean epic suckiness!!!! EPIC!!!! OK, I will TRY  keep this up. I really want to!! I like looking back and seeing my journey. I used to keep journals. Well, they were actually  more like stories. When there was a lot going on inside my head, I would write one or two things down in the journal. To help problem solve, I would write out scenarios of what could happen. Not that the things actually happened. It just helped create a picture in my mind to see things and consequences and all that stuff. I stopped doing that when my first husband didn't believe in the right for me to have any privacy whatsoever. I had stopped doing it for so long that when I was with my second husband, I just never did. Sometimes, when I was writing these different scenarios, I would write down some detail that didn't seem important in real life, so to speak, but took on a whole new perspective when I was seeing it on paper. In retrospect, I should have started the journal thing with my second marriage. But, that's the past. Thank goodness! So, anyway, the last few weeks have been tumultuous to say the very least!! Tragedy, revelations, rejection.....*sigh*. Today, I am bummed. I think it is just all that and PMS combined that have me down.

I have been crocheting a lot lately. Right now, I am making some hats that were ordered. My sister and her friend are doing the Bark for Life here in our town. They had a booth at the Seafood Festival. I decided to whip up some beanies with a paw print applique. I was planning on giving most of the money to them. My sister's friend said, no, you give us 10% and the rest for you for your supplies and time. I still feel I should give them more (and, FYI, I probably will). The beanies for my friend Kim are almost ready to go. She has a friend with a 5 year old little girl. This little girl has a brain tumor and is going through chemo. I made some plain beanies and made some detachable flowers. I am going to make some more flowers so she can mix and match. I am also going to make some fabric flowers as well. BUT for now, I have the beanies and a flower for each. I am ALSO making some beanies to send to a friend of mine who is in Afghanistan right now. I asked him if he wanted me to make some things for him and his soldiers. He told me instead of for them, if I could make some hats for the local kids at the hospital there. I have some made. I try and do at least one a day or every few days. 

Anyway, it is time for me to finish up some paw print pieces to sew onto some Bark for Life hats. I have some more things I want to write but time is slipping away and I need to get them done. In the meantime, stay groovy my peeps!

Captain's Log, Stardate 01.12210

Yeah, I know, I haven't updated lately. I truly have been busy with crafts. I have some pics but can't find my camera to post them. Lovely, isn't it? I am sure it will turn up since I haven't taken out of this bedroom, but alas, it has disappeared. Things tend to do that in this house but always end up being found. Pixies? Fairies? Ghosts? Who knows. It can't be me and my older age. Nah, it can't be.
I have found something very addicting. Crocheting with wire. Now, I am doing just a simple chain stitch with beads, combining strands of chains to make a bracelet and I even made a necklace using two strands. I made some earrings. Again, a chain stitch, beads and a slip stitch. I did attempt to do something a little bit more complicated, but I think I need to use a smaller gauge of wire. At least until I get the feel of this new thing. Then I can use bigger gauges.
I also learned a fabulous new crochet stitch: the Tunisian knit stitch. I am soooo excited about this one!!! I love how knit things look. Love it! I can't knit. I would need to sit with someone who does know for about a week and just do nothing but knit to get it. Yeah, yeah, I know. But it is easier when you are first learning to have someone tell you if you are doing something wrong as you are working. Back to the new stitch. Here is a link to the tutorial I used: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_Au16WDHVE I just chained a few to go on my regular crochet hook to see if I could do it. I could. And I was so excited I had to post it on Facebook. hahahaha OK, regarding the link I posted. I have used tutorials by Theresa before. I recognize the voice. There are some great ones. I love the slow motions that are done so you can see it very well. The tunisian knit stitch (they have a purl one as well I haven't tried........yet.) uses either afghan crochet hooks or what is labeled tunisian crochet hooks. I do not have these........yet. But you can bet your bottom I will soon. So, I am off to Ravelry to look for some patterns to try out and get the hang of this new found discovery of mine.

What is your major malfunction?

Well, I just realized I hadn't posted anything about my headband project for the nieces. Well, the reason for this: my sewing machine is being impertinent. I know it just needs to be cleaned. AND I thought I had  more plastic headbands. Nope. Just one. So, I have put this one on hold for a little bit. At least finishing them. I will continue to make more of the flowers, though. That way I have them all done.
Anyway, I have been making the bracelets from the previous post. I made a black one with a black and white flower button for my boss' daughter. She is going to wear it this weekend, tell me how it does as far as a teenager wear and tear. AND she is going to show it to her friends and hopefully they will want to buy some! Extra cash!! CHA-CHING!!!!!! Now I realize it won't be much extra cash, but a little can go a long way with me. Even $20 extra a week or whatnot. Being a single mom, everything counts!
So, without further ado, the black crocheted bracelet:

So, there it is. She loved it! Thank goodness!!! And I want to apologize for my dry skin. I have eczema and it can get a little ashy. Anyway, I am going to make some more. My bestie, Gina, politely asked demanded one. hehehehehe